I woke up tired, sore and grumpy this morning. My deepest apologies to anyone who has had the displeasure of dealing with me today. Fortunately, I’ve not yet been released, physically, upon unknowing clerks, other drivers and the rest of the world. Only those who venture past the porch are subject to the rants of my frustration and boredom.
After a little venting to friends… hopefully they're all are still my friends… I hobbled out to the porch where I reflected on my plight and came to the bold conclusion that as much as it sucks buckets to be laid up, unable to drive, unable to prepare even the simplest of meals without it being a complete pain in the foot (ha ha ha), and completely dependent on your husband, kids and friends… I realized that it could always be worse. I pulled myself up by my knee brace and hobbled back into the house.
Determined to figure out a way to turn my mood around, I hopped around the house on my crutches until my poor shoulder complained loudly and promptly gave out. Fortunately, I was in my bedroom and landed on the folding chair in the corner of my room. I honestly don’t remember which awesome member of my family was responsible for putting the chair there, but I was grateful for it today. Each member of our home has done so much, to help me out; things like carrying my lunch plate or bowl of soup to the table so I can sit to eat. I often just eat at the stove leaning on one foot as it’s easier than trying to get my food to the table without feeding it to the ever-present and ever-hungry, four-legged members of the family.
I came down pretty hard into the folding chair and was even more grateful that it was the padded kind and not plain metal. I spent a few minutes holding my shoulder and cursing my own stupidity. Wishing for more upper body strength to manage my crutches better, but knowing it’s futile. I have calves of steel and arms of cotton fluff. Sitting there, looking around the room, my eyes came to rest on my favorite picture; it’s a picture of my happy place. Our pond and cabin in the mountains. Just looking at the photo calmed me. I stopped holding my shoulder and began to gently massage it. The pain started to ease and I noticed my breathing had slowed and become deeper. I miss yoga. I miss my mountain pose, my downward facing dogs, I miss lying on the floor and meditating and I miss feeling my bare feet connect with the ground.
So now my mood has gone from just plain ornery to full on pity party. I guess that’s a bit of an improvement – at least the washer repairman who is coming this afternoon is safer. I stared intently at the picture on the wall and started to focus on my breathing more. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. Forcing stray thoughts away, I continued to breathe slowly and with intention, encouraging that breath to go right into my shoulder, breathing deeply and exhaling with purpose. Within a few minutes I felt lighter, my shoulder pain had diminished into the dull ache of an overworked, pulled muscle and I felt my arms rise over my head into a modified mountain pose. From there, I moved into half-moon and then onto five pointed start – or 3 pointed start as the case may be today. Suddenly, the realization came to me that I need not give up the daily practices that keep me sane, I need only modify them to suit my current situation. Who knew chair yoga could be so fulfilling. Okay family, it’s safe to come home now.
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